Search found 90 matches
- Fri August 8th, 2008, 7:28 pm
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: Aug 9th Breakers
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1242
- Sat August 2nd, 2008, 3:11 pm
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: Aug 9th Breakers
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1242
- Sat July 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm
- Forum: General
- Topic: A simple guide to living in a haunted house
- Replies: 3
- Views: 885
A simple guide to living in a haunted house
Whether your home was the site of a series of grisly murders by an underrated symphony conductor in the 1940s, or was built on a gallows where an innocent man was hanged, chances are you’ll have to deal with a house chock-full of restless spirits. No one likes waking up to the sounds of woeful moans and footsteps. And spirit writing just wrecks your freshly painted walls. So, here are some hints to living in peace with that ghost or getting them the hell out of your abode.
Many spirits are simply confused by the trauma of passing on and do not realize that they are dead. Leave the obits out conspicuously on the coffee table with a few funeral home brochures and headstone catalogues. Chances are they might just get the hint.
To encourage a ghost to leave your home and move on, you should remind them that you legally occupy the house and that they are a guest. When writing out your rent check, loudly lament that the rent is so high and that you wish that everyone in the house would pay their fair share.
If a poltergeist starts flinging objects around or breaking glasses, an-eye-for-an-eye is a good thing to remember. Go to the person’s grave and smash the headstone with a big hammer. See how they like them apples.
Try just ignoring the ghost. If that doesn’t work, annoy them by talking loudly and often about how awesome it is to be alive. Say things like “Gee, sure glad I’m alive and not dead so I can enjoy all of this delicious ice cream.â€Â
If you find yourself dealing with a particularly persistent ghost, you may need to call in an expert to help exorcize the house. Or you can just do it yourself, because with a simple prayer you can turn the toilet into a fountain full of holy water.
When performing your own exorcism, remember that not all dead people are Christian. Have nearby handy copies of the Talmud, the Koran, the Bahavagita, Dianetics, the Communist Manifesto and the Zoroastrianistrokan.
Should you actually see an apparition, offer it a cup of tea. No need to be rude, after all.
Spirits often attempt to communicate through spirit writing or through EVP. Just ignore them. They never have anything useful to say.
Sometimes a spirit is traumatized by its death and needs closure before moving on. Remind the ghost that you’re not its damn therapist and that you have better things to do than to help it deal with its magazine rack full of issues.
If, through research in musty volumes at the library, you discover that your house was built on top of an old Indian burial ground, go down to the basement, dig up the bones and move them somewhere else, because we conquered it, it’s our country now and we don’t need stupid, defeated natives’ spirits bugging us all the time.
Turn the tables on the ghost and walk through it repeatedly. Do this especially if the ghost is trying to communicate with you. They find it unbearably annoying.
Only rarely do ghosts appear in photographic or video images. Use this to your advantage by turning your home into a discount portrait studio.
A little-know fact about visitors from the netherworld is that more than anything they hate artificial watermelon scent. Modern air-freshening technology can help you immeasurably.
Knick-knacks while generally an eyesore are also a no-no. Poltergeists can fling such objects all over the place at the least causing a nuisance, at most mild pain and property damage.
If the haunted house you’re living in happens to be part of a theme park or annual holiday celebration, this is not the article you’re looking for. Please see our Tiberium 1966 issue.
Ghosts can be attached to certain objects. If yours is one such as this, do not dispose of the object in the curbside trash pick up as the disposal of paranormal refuse has been strictly regulated by the EPA since 1984. Use the recycling bin.
Sometimes your standard apparitions are semi-permeable. Spraying them with a mister produces lovely visual effects including rainbows and hilarious distortions of the people or objects directly behind the spirit.
If it’s a tree on your property which happens to be the source of the haunting, why not employ the use of a chainsaw?
If you’re willing to strike up a relationship with the deceased, they can really help when cheating at cards.
Ghosts are supposedly kept at bay with iron, but a better repellant is pure disbelief.
Many spirits are simply confused by the trauma of passing on and do not realize that they are dead. Leave the obits out conspicuously on the coffee table with a few funeral home brochures and headstone catalogues. Chances are they might just get the hint.
To encourage a ghost to leave your home and move on, you should remind them that you legally occupy the house and that they are a guest. When writing out your rent check, loudly lament that the rent is so high and that you wish that everyone in the house would pay their fair share.
If a poltergeist starts flinging objects around or breaking glasses, an-eye-for-an-eye is a good thing to remember. Go to the person’s grave and smash the headstone with a big hammer. See how they like them apples.
Try just ignoring the ghost. If that doesn’t work, annoy them by talking loudly and often about how awesome it is to be alive. Say things like “Gee, sure glad I’m alive and not dead so I can enjoy all of this delicious ice cream.â€Â
If you find yourself dealing with a particularly persistent ghost, you may need to call in an expert to help exorcize the house. Or you can just do it yourself, because with a simple prayer you can turn the toilet into a fountain full of holy water.
When performing your own exorcism, remember that not all dead people are Christian. Have nearby handy copies of the Talmud, the Koran, the Bahavagita, Dianetics, the Communist Manifesto and the Zoroastrianistrokan.
Should you actually see an apparition, offer it a cup of tea. No need to be rude, after all.
Spirits often attempt to communicate through spirit writing or through EVP. Just ignore them. They never have anything useful to say.
Sometimes a spirit is traumatized by its death and needs closure before moving on. Remind the ghost that you’re not its damn therapist and that you have better things to do than to help it deal with its magazine rack full of issues.
If, through research in musty volumes at the library, you discover that your house was built on top of an old Indian burial ground, go down to the basement, dig up the bones and move them somewhere else, because we conquered it, it’s our country now and we don’t need stupid, defeated natives’ spirits bugging us all the time.
Turn the tables on the ghost and walk through it repeatedly. Do this especially if the ghost is trying to communicate with you. They find it unbearably annoying.
Only rarely do ghosts appear in photographic or video images. Use this to your advantage by turning your home into a discount portrait studio.
A little-know fact about visitors from the netherworld is that more than anything they hate artificial watermelon scent. Modern air-freshening technology can help you immeasurably.
Knick-knacks while generally an eyesore are also a no-no. Poltergeists can fling such objects all over the place at the least causing a nuisance, at most mild pain and property damage.
If the haunted house you’re living in happens to be part of a theme park or annual holiday celebration, this is not the article you’re looking for. Please see our Tiberium 1966 issue.
Ghosts can be attached to certain objects. If yours is one such as this, do not dispose of the object in the curbside trash pick up as the disposal of paranormal refuse has been strictly regulated by the EPA since 1984. Use the recycling bin.
Sometimes your standard apparitions are semi-permeable. Spraying them with a mister produces lovely visual effects including rainbows and hilarious distortions of the people or objects directly behind the spirit.
If it’s a tree on your property which happens to be the source of the haunting, why not employ the use of a chainsaw?
If you’re willing to strike up a relationship with the deceased, they can really help when cheating at cards.
Ghosts are supposedly kept at bay with iron, but a better repellant is pure disbelief.
- Thu July 24th, 2008, 7:40 am
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: Aug 9th Breakers
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1242
you guys have been playing alot of shows this summer! Sucks I only got to see one so far since I'm gone...and a 30 band death fest? FUCK YEAH! We have been trying to just get the our name out there and support the scene at the same time. Our venue is doing better all the time so we hope to keep hav...
- Mon July 21st, 2008, 10:41 am
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: Aug 9th Breakers
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1242
Aug 9th Breakers
Come out and check us"Choking Her" out on the 9th. We are going to be taking a short break after this show to help set up a 30 band death metal fest for late sept./oct. and will be playing some out of town gigs. So come see us if you have not. I promise you will only be mildly disapointed. <a href="...
- Sun July 20th, 2008, 2:13 am
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: July 19th Malefic, Axial Discorrelation, Choking Her,
- Replies: 10
- Views: 2270
This was a great show, not a huge crowd but a good crowd for a small venue. The people did seem to really be into the Atlanta undergroung scene. Thanks to all the other bands we played with and come see us "Choking Her" again live on 8-9-08 at Breakers... Thanks to anyone that was able to make this ...
- Thu July 17th, 2008, 7:18 am
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: July 19th Malefic, Axial Discorrelation, Choking Her,
- Replies: 10
- Views: 2270
- Thu July 10th, 2008, 9:07 pm
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: July 19th Malefic, Axial Discorrelation, Choking Her,
- Replies: 10
- Views: 2270
<a href="http://s225.photobucket.com/albums/dd16 ... ly19th.gif" target="_blank"><img src="http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd16 ... ly19th.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
- Thu July 10th, 2008, 7:25 am
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: July 19th Malefic, Axial Discorrelation, Choking Her,
- Replies: 10
- Views: 2270
- Mon June 30th, 2008, 3:28 pm
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: NOMINON/QUINTA ESSENTIA/LEGIONS OF ASTAROTH/CHOKING HER 7/8
- Replies: 33
- Views: 6376
- Mon June 30th, 2008, 3:27 pm
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: July 19th Malefic, Axial Discorrelation, Choking Her,
- Replies: 10
- Views: 2270
July 19th Malefic, Axial Discorrelation, Choking Her,
CHOKING HER line up change Organ is not able to play this show, All that March is taking their place. We will be selling beeer at this show. July, 19 2008 at Lil Tree Studios: Malefic, All that March, Axial Discorrelation, Choking Her, 1 more tba!~ 2842 Franklin St. Avondale Estates, Dick Hater, Geo...
- Sat June 7th, 2008, 5:56 pm
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: REVOCATION,COATHANGER ABORTION,CYSTIC DYSENTARY,CHOKING HER
- Replies: 35
- Views: 6090
The show was great!!! Pretty decent turn out of some brutal death metal. Amanda snagged a free cd so listen to her show to hear some of our songs. Amanda let me know if you need a track list or if the names actually burned along with the cd. Thanks For the support to those who could make it. next sh...
- Tue May 27th, 2008, 11:00 am
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: REVOCATION,COATHANGER ABORTION,CYSTIC DYSENTARY,CHOKING HER
- Replies: 35
- Views: 6090
- Tue May 20th, 2008, 1:47 pm
- Forum: Bands
- Topic: Choking Her no more
- Replies: 8
- Views: 5315
Choking Her no more
Well we just finished recording our 8 song cd. Should be releasing it after mastering is done. I posted one of the rough mix songs on our myspace page. If you want more come see us live..
http://www.myspace.com/chokingher
take a listen, tell us what you think, come see us live!!!!!
http://www.myspace.com/chokingher
take a listen, tell us what you think, come see us live!!!!!
- Thu May 15th, 2008, 11:21 pm
- Forum: Concerts
- Topic: May 26 Scum of the Earth, Choking Her
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1011
Re: May 26 Skum of the Earth, Choking Her
Nope same scumProstheticHead12 wrote:is that different from the scum of the earth that's a rob zombie side project?God of Brutality wrote:Hey guys we got a show on Monday May 26th at the masquerade
Official line up
Skum of the Earth