sick joke contest

Death2all · Post by **Death2all** » Tue August 9th, 2005, 8:31 am

Whats big and black and looks good on a mexican
a doberman

Why does a Mexican re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

Why aren't there any spics on Star Trek?
They won't work in the future either!

What do you call a building full of spics?
A jail!

What do you get when you breed a black and a mexican?
A theif who's too lazy to steal!

Death2all · Post by **Death2all** » Tue August 9th, 2005, 8:36 am

How do you fit three gays on one barstool?
Turn it upside-down!

What do you call a ship full of fags?
The navy!

What's the difference between a refridgerator and a fag?
The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!

Death2all · Post by **Death2all** » Tue August 9th, 2005, 8:42 am

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesnt scream when you put it in an oven!

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A canoe tips

How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray

andyb · Post by **andyb** » Tue August 9th, 2005, 2:50 pm

whats the difference between michael jackson and neil armstrong?
neil armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. and michael jackson likes to fuck little boys in the ass

andyb · Post by **andyb** » Tue August 9th, 2005, 2:51 pm

how do you get a nun pregnant?
dress her like a little boy

necroodin · Post by **necroodin** » Tue August 9th, 2005, 6:50 pm

What did the little girl from Alabama say to her Father?
"Daddy, daddy, get off me! You're crushing my cigarettes!"

andyb · Post by **andyb** » Wed August 10th, 2005, 7:01 am

whats small green and smells like bacon?
kermits dick

why do chicks love jesus?

because hes hung like this (insert visual of crusification position)

holly · Post by **holly** » Wed August 10th, 2005, 1:49 pm

necroodin wrote:What did the little girl from Alabama say to her Father?
"Daddy, daddy, get off me! You're crushing my cigarettes!"

This is the only one I've actually laughed at.

Death2all · Post by **Death2all** » Wed August 10th, 2005, 2:15 pm

A man from Alabama takes his daughter to the doctor to be put on birth control
the doctor asked if she is sexually active the father then replied no she just lays there like her mama

Asrynth · Post by **Asrynth** » Wed August 10th, 2005, 3:37 pm

This is funny.

Malfunktion · Post by **Malfunktion** » Wed August 10th, 2005, 11:16 pm

yeah, well i did your mom last night

hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaaah

Greg · Post by **Greg** » Thu August 11th, 2005, 4:30 pm

andyb wrote:
Q why cant stevie wonder read?
A because hes black

I have heard a better version of this one:

Q: Why can't Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder read music?

A: because they're black

My joke is more of a physical comedy bit: you go up to some Churchy McChurch and start nibbling on your wrists and ask them "Hey, guess what this is?"

When they stare blankly back at you, you say "It's Jesus biting his nails!"

WREKage-Paul · Post by **WREKage-Paul** » Fri August 12th, 2005, 2:14 am

"He who farts in church, sits in his own pew."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Hey, what's this?" (Hold your arms out like Jesus on the cross)
"--It's a rotten way to spend your Easter weekend!"

andyb · Post by **andyb** » Fri August 12th, 2005, 2:49 pm

why cant helen keller drive?
because shes a woman

what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
nothing, you already told the bitch twice.

why dont women need a watch?
because there is a clock on the stove

what do you do when your dishwasher quits working?
slap the bitch

Greg · Post by **Greg** » Fri August 12th, 2005, 3:25 pm

andyb wrote:
what do you do when your dishwasher quits working?
slap the bitch

I got that one beat.

Q: How do you know when it's time to do the dishes?

A: You look down in your pants, and if you have a dick it's not time.

AtlantaMetal

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