Heavy Metal Code of Ethics

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Generubin
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Heavy Metal Code of Ethics

Post by Generubin » Wed November 3rd, 2010, 5:26 pm

I got this idea from another thread in toilet.

Pretend the unwritten metal rules are laws. It is pretty self-explanatory.

First the 10 heavy metal commandments.

1. You shall have no other gods before Ozzy, Tony, and Dio

2.Do not attempt to be like Lemmy. For Lemmy will kick your ass and he will not show mercy. (Slayer style)

3. Don't talk shit about Dimebag for his fans will kick your ass for taking his name in vain.

4. Remember the Maryland Deathfest day, to keep it unholy. Four days you shall mosh and get fucked up, but the 5th day is the buzzkill of the days of intoxication. In it you shall do as little work as possible before you have to go back to the land of reality: you alone, fuck your kids, fuck your bitch of a wife, fuck your job, fuck your starving dog, fuck your mortgage. Therefore the Satan blessed Maryland Deathfest and hallowed it.

5. Your father and your mother can kick your ass, this world is yours for the taking so just piss on everything.

6. You shall murder if you feel like it.

7. You're free to fuck as many dumb sluts as you're content. Rape is also acceptable.

8. Steal everything and anything

9.Who gives a shit it is survival of the fittest baby. If they can't keep up with your schemes then they deserve to die. :evil:

10. All rich people are corrupt capitalists that want more. Dream of viking glory for one day Dio will call upon his friends in Asgard to send a battalion of warriors to sack New York and California.

Also: (yes I was very bored)


The more illegible the logo of your band the more metal you are

If you go to a metal show and you don't mosh for at least 1 song you're black metal elitist and/or pussy

Never leave your spiked arm bands at home under any circumstance.

Wear corpsepaint to all formal occasions.
BlackRoija wrote:Cut your hair and worship Jesus
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doubledogpaleale
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Post by doubledogpaleale » Wed November 3rd, 2010, 6:29 pm

Generubin wrote: If you go to a metal show and you don't mosh for at least 1 song you're black metal elitist and/or pussy
The Mosh Pit Commandments:
1.He Who Start It, Must Endure It
2.If Any Should Fall, All Shall Help
3.Do Not Mosh Unto Those Not Moshing
4.Never Will Thou Fight In A Mosh Pit, Thou Must Mosh
5.Never Will Thou Hardcore Dance In A Mosh Pit, For those Around Thee Will Kick Your Ass


Unspoken commandment:
Never Mosh Unto A Man With A Beer, For If It Is Spilled And He Is Punched In The Nuts, Thou Will Be Hit By Said Beer And Choked Throughly.
Who Dies Wins
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theRothstanator
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Post by theRothstanator » Wed November 3rd, 2010, 8:15 pm

Wow, this is extra stupid.
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Matt
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Post by Matt » Wed November 3rd, 2010, 9:28 pm

theRothstanator wrote:Wow, this is extra stupid.

didnt even finish reading all of them because it was so retarded and not even remotely funny. This thread needs to be transferred to the toilet.
your church was turned into an abortion clinic and we use it all the time... sluts!!!
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lsaldana
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Post by lsaldana » Wed November 3rd, 2010, 10:01 pm

Debbie fucking downer
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MS_39455
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Post by MS_39455 » Wed November 3rd, 2010, 11:52 pm

Metal on, Gene. I had to chuckle at the rape part.
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Generubin
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Post by Generubin » Thu November 4th, 2010, 12:02 am

At least someone liked it! :D
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theRothstanator
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Post by theRothstanator » Thu November 4th, 2010, 12:38 am

I get the sarcasm, but it takes it from Dio worship to rape in like 2 seconds.
"Other than shame and guilt I am fine." - Melkor
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Matt
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Post by Matt » Thu November 4th, 2010, 5:40 am

and what does maryland deathfest and rape have to do with heavy metal? whoever made this list is absolute retard.
your church was turned into an abortion clinic and we use it all the time... sluts!!!
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Generubin
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Post by Generubin » Thu November 4th, 2010, 9:27 am

You could give Simon Cowell a run for his money with that attitude.
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slut rag
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Post by slut rag » Thu November 4th, 2010, 10:48 am

i am too nice and boring to follow these rules and guidelines.

plus i always thought metal was about having no rules at all...right?!
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nocommands
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Post by nocommands » Thu November 4th, 2010, 11:53 am

inc9 is mentioned nowhere. bullshit list
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Generubin
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Post by Generubin » Thu November 4th, 2010, 5:01 pm

slut rag wrote:i am too nice and boring to follow these rules and guidelines.

plus i always thought metal was about having no rules at all...right?!

punx aren't metal d00d
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badcarburetor
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Post by badcarburetor » Thu November 4th, 2010, 5:04 pm

Don't be Dani Filth.
"God created the devil? At least he did *something* cool." Homer J. Simpson
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SlashAndThrash
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Post by SlashAndThrash » Thu November 4th, 2010, 7:10 pm

Let the thunder cry mean let the gods make a scene how can you fight it out throw your head back and shout THERE ARE NO RULES
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