is this seriously a review for an album?

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log^Anarchy
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Post by log^Anarchy » Tue September 11th, 2012, 4:43 pm

SlashAndThrash wrote:Yeah man the common "review" was really stagnating. Thank god the useless shit I left behind on livejournal in high school is making a comeback. If you want to write about how music makes you feel, open your own pretentious artfag blog. Dont post it in a review section. Waste of space. But what do me know me just discovered fire and you college real person durrr durrrrrrr
Hey man, having lurked this forum for a while, I have to say you come off as a judgmental, immature asshole in pretty much every single post of yours.

I've never met you in person, so in reality you may be a real cool guy, but your posts don't really seem to add much beside "why the fuck isn't mangled on this show???!!???" and calling people faggots. Grow up or something.
Last edited by log^Anarchy on Tue September 11th, 2012, 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Brian
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Post by Brian » Tue September 11th, 2012, 4:47 pm

SlashAndThrash wrote:Yeah man the common "review" was really stagnating. Thank god the useless shit I left behind on livejournal in high school is making a comeback. If you want to write about how music makes you feel, open your own pretentious artfag blog. Dont post it in a review section. Waste of space. But what do me know me just discovered fire and you college real person durrr durrrrrrr
It really is when any joker with an internet connection can pull up youtube and listen to a song faster than they can read a typical 'review'. Not sure why it's ok to dissect/discuss movies but doing the same for music makes you gay. Yeah, this was kind of depressing/nostalgiac/etc, but that's because that's exactly what the record is! I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't feel anything from music, whether it's claustrophobia, suffocation, depression, happiness, etc. There are plenty of ear-candy bands that have no depth that are fun to listen to and there are plenty of bands with artistic merit who are equally enjoyable to listen to. They both have a time and place and one is not better than the other.

I wonder what people would think of a review like this. Taken from Horrible Eyes 4 by way of Dauthus 3 (i think, HE4 says 8 but I think there are only 3 Dauthus's).
"Bloody Vengeance is like an old ship full of corpses, tilting one way and tilting the other way as it carves black waters, bodies falling off the edges where sharks catch them mid-air, and as soon as some dozen have fallen off at one side, the ship tilts towards the other side, and like this it travels all the hateful seas while red suns rotate the months."

Not whiny because that particular record isn't whiny. Still no paint by numbers THIS BAND DEATH METAL THEY HAVE SONGS.
Last edited by Brian on Tue September 11th, 2012, 4:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Post by Brian » Tue September 11th, 2012, 4:48 pm

nocommands wrote:
BlackRoija wrote:
log^Anarchy wrote:I do think it lost clarity/focus in a couple places, though, and you probably could've cut down the length a bit - you know, get to the point a bit faster. Sadly, most people aren't gonna spare the time to read an "essay," y'know?
I definitely could have cut it down. But this is another case of the "review" fitting the material in question: it is slow. it drags. getting to the point isn't so much moving in a linear path to some hook, or "bottom line" musical phrase. the point is the slogging, the very clearly weary soul of whoever Patrick Walker's character is. you ever had a really depressing day? never seems to end, never seems to be any meaning in anything.

aka, this album, but in the best way possible.

I do appreciate the kind words; whether or not you agree with my perspective doesn't matter, but getting some respect as any decent human being would find valuable is refreshing. thanks.
I still have no idea what this band sounds like.
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Warning/10936

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nocommands
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Post by nocommands » Tue September 11th, 2012, 4:56 pm

Brian wrote:
nocommands wrote:
BlackRoija wrote:
log^Anarchy wrote:I do think it lost clarity/focus in a couple places, though, and you probably could've cut down the length a bit - you know, get to the point a bit faster. Sadly, most people aren't gonna spare the time to read an "essay," y'know?
I definitely could have cut it down. But this is another case of the "review" fitting the material in question: it is slow. it drags. getting to the point isn't so much moving in a linear path to some hook, or "bottom line" musical phrase. the point is the slogging, the very clearly weary soul of whoever Patrick Walker's character is. you ever had a really depressing day? never seems to end, never seems to be any meaning in anything.

aka, this album, but in the best way possible.

I do appreciate the kind words; whether or not you agree with my perspective doesn't matter, but getting some respect as any decent human being would find valuable is refreshing. thanks.
I still have no idea what this band sounds like.
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Warning/10936
I can hit metal-archives myself... Reading a review should give you insight to what a band SOUNDS like, not whats been goin on in the guys life who's reviewing it. I don't give a shit how this makes you feel about every mistake you've made since you were in high school. Pretentious, self-indulgent bullshit. End of story.

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Post by Brian » Tue September 11th, 2012, 4:58 pm

nocommands wrote:
Brian wrote:
nocommands wrote:
BlackRoija wrote:
log^Anarchy wrote:I do think it lost clarity/focus in a couple places, though, and you probably could've cut down the length a bit - you know, get to the point a bit faster. Sadly, most people aren't gonna spare the time to read an "essay," y'know?
I definitely could have cut it down. But this is another case of the "review" fitting the material in question: it is slow. it drags. getting to the point isn't so much moving in a linear path to some hook, or "bottom line" musical phrase. the point is the slogging, the very clearly weary soul of whoever Patrick Walker's character is. you ever had a really depressing day? never seems to end, never seems to be any meaning in anything.

aka, this album, but in the best way possible.

I do appreciate the kind words; whether or not you agree with my perspective doesn't matter, but getting some respect as any decent human being would find valuable is refreshing. thanks.
I still have no idea what this band sounds like.
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Warning/10936
I can hit metal-archives myself... Reading a review should give you insight to what a band SOUNDS like, not whats been goin on in the guys life who's reviewing it. I don't give a shit how this makes you feel about every mistake you've made since you were in high school. Pretentious, self-indulgent bullshit. End of story.
Then read Metal Archives, Kerrang, Decibel, whatever. I can find out what a band sounds like myself and it won't change from person to person. Perspective will.

log^Anarchy
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Post by log^Anarchy » Tue September 11th, 2012, 5:00 pm

BlackRoija wrote: I definitely could have cut it down. But this is another case of the "review" fitting the material in question: it is slow. it drags. getting to the point isn't so much moving in a linear path to some hook, or "bottom line" musical phrase. the point is the slogging, the very clearly weary soul of whoever Patrick Walker's character is. you ever had a really depressing day? never seems to end, never seems to be any meaning in anything.
damn, that's clever! I totally missed that. Awesome job, man.
Metalfreak wrote:
this was intended for BlackRoija but goes for both of you:

it kinda sucks that you feel like that though. I mean, I know you're not exactly suffering but you're definitely not satisfied either. How you wrote it reminds me of something a much older person (who didn't do much with his life) would write. You're young. Enjoy yourself. It's not too late. I can relate to how you want instant success though. I felt that way when I was 20. Just like you I have older friends and obviously, they're more successful than me. It took them time to get to where they are though. A few of them had to tell me that success doesn't come over night. I had to realize that it takes time, dedication and hard work. You're at Tech so I know you'll be fine.

I'm not much older than you and I can't say I have any huge regrets, yet. Hopefully I won't have any either. Maybe it's because I just put myself out there and take it day by day and embrace what ever is thrown at me even if it sucks. Eventually, it will suck less and less and then it won't suck at all. From what I gather, you don't really have any regrets either...it just seems like you do because you haven't "done" anything yet. You're still in college, focus on graduating, maintaining the relationship you have with your girlfriend and getting a good/ fun job. In your spare time, do things you normally wouldn't do on a day to day basis to keep things interesting (these things don't necessarily require alot of money either).

You kind of remind me of me when I went to GSU. While in college, I just DJed, had a good relationship, went to school obviously, and worked whatever part time job I had time for. At that point, in your terms, I hadn't done much either but I never saw it like that. My parents never went to college and they struggle like mad. Just the thought of being able to attend college was a huge deal to me. Also, I thought that being able to DJ was really fuckin cool. Just find what lights a fire under your ass and go for it. If you fail, don't let that stop you. Try again and you will succeed.

Best advice I can give you: enjoy yourself and don't live in the past. :)
I can't speak for BlackRoija, but when a person is legitimately depressed, he/she can't just simply "choose to be happy." It sucks ass, to put it extremely mildly. But I'm slogging through it.

Anyway, thanks for the advice.

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nocommands
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Post by nocommands » Tue September 11th, 2012, 5:11 pm

Brian wrote:
nocommands wrote:
Brian wrote:
nocommands wrote:
BlackRoija wrote:
log^Anarchy wrote:I do think it lost clarity/focus in a couple places, though, and you probably could've cut down the length a bit - you know, get to the point a bit faster. Sadly, most people aren't gonna spare the time to read an "essay," y'know?
I definitely could have cut it down. But this is another case of the "review" fitting the material in question: it is slow. it drags. getting to the point isn't so much moving in a linear path to some hook, or "bottom line" musical phrase. the point is the slogging, the very clearly weary soul of whoever Patrick Walker's character is. you ever had a really depressing day? never seems to end, never seems to be any meaning in anything.

aka, this album, but in the best way possible.

I do appreciate the kind words; whether or not you agree with my perspective doesn't matter, but getting some respect as any decent human being would find valuable is refreshing. thanks.
I still have no idea what this band sounds like.
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Warning/10936
I can hit metal-archives myself... Reading a review should give you insight to what a band SOUNDS like, not whats been goin on in the guys life who's reviewing it. I don't give a shit how this makes you feel about every mistake you've made since you were in high school. Pretentious, self-indulgent bullshit. End of story.
Then read Metal Archives, Kerrang, Decibel, whatever. I can find out what a band sounds like myself and it won't change from person to person. Perspective will.
yeah, perspective does change. The ultimate reason why this review is idiotic. Not informative or helpful.

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BlackRoija
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Post by BlackRoija » Tue September 11th, 2012, 5:24 pm

nocommands wrote:
yeah, perspective does change. The ultimate reason why this review is idiotic. Not informative or helpful.
You know what, maybe you should just stick to nursery rhymes.

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Post by stewvee » Tue September 11th, 2012, 5:27 pm

problem with the whole "this is not a review b/c it is not 'helpful,' or 'informative,' or does not do 'x,y,z'" is that for every review that doesn't tow the rehashed one-sheet line, there are MILLIONS OF FUCKIN OTHERS AVAIL N THE INTERNET THAT DO SO.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN FUCK OFF AND GO DO A GOOGLE SEARCH FOR ONE THAT FITS YOUR CRITERIA.
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nocommands
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Post by nocommands » Tue September 11th, 2012, 5:36 pm

BlackRoija wrote:
nocommands wrote:
yeah, perspective does change. The ultimate reason why this review is idiotic. Not informative or helpful.
You know what, maybe you should just stick to nursery rhymes.
Uh.. good come back.. I think. Have fun feeling sorry for yourself in the future!

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Post by Knucklehead » Tue September 11th, 2012, 6:58 pm

My god. Metal heads will argue about anything.
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Post by Knucklehead » Tue September 11th, 2012, 7:03 pm

My god. Metal heads will argue about anything.

Isn't this all just a little silly? We're taking about an essay (review, reaction, whatever) posted on a college radio station's site. Either it works for you or it doesn't.

For me it was all tl/dnr, so I completely missed the punch line. (But that probably says more about me, the reader, then the actual piece, no?)

Bu I'm not losing sleep over it, nor am I morally offended.

EDIT: on reflection, this is entire post is ME ME ME ME ME ME. Sure wish I was at that Mangled show.
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Matt
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Post by Matt » Tue September 11th, 2012, 7:35 pm

i believe music invokes a certain kind of emotion in a different way to different people. among different styles and genres as well. a review should be of comparable quality not your blog about how you never really got over your girlfriend of 2 months when you were in 11th grade you fucking homo.
your church was turned into an abortion clinic and we use it all the time... sluts!!!

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Post by Moloc » Wed September 12th, 2012, 9:04 am

OK. So I read the "review" and I have to say that I like the writing style and the honesty in it, but I don't see much about the band or the music itself. Perhaps if you had tied in particular tracks and their elements to the emotions they conjure up it would make more sense as a review.

I applaud your attempt to write outside the box of the traditional album review, but it is too much about your own personal life and hardly at all about the album. People read reviews to learn about the album not to hear why the reviewer is depressed.

What you need is a personal journal that you keep beside the bed and write in there about your troubles. I've got one of my own and it's full of depressing shit. I just crawled out of a devastating depression a couple years ago and I go on at length about it. But I would never use my own fucked up issues to review an album, at least not to the extent you did.

And damn, I'm sorry you feel this way when you're in your twenties! I'm an old fuck and I've got regrets and less than half my life left to make up for them. You got your whole life ahead of you. You should enjoy it.

What I guess I'm trying to say is that you need an outlet for your feelings somewhere else besides metal album reviews. I would be interested in reading your blog (if you have one) just to compare and relate to my own issues.

And that's how this whole discussion makes me feel.

[/gay rant]

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Post by Brian » Wed September 12th, 2012, 9:26 am

Knucklehead wrote:My god. Metal heads will argue about anything.
I think that's just me.

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