New Mexico

[Diana]

My brother and I are going into the desert in a week. (For those of you keeping score, I'm taking the ex-Marine, not the Internet Troll...) We're gonna drive around in an RV starting in Albuquerque, down to Roswell for aliens, Alamogordo for the World's Largest Pistachio, then the government has decided we're probably not going to White Sands which fucking sucks, Las Cruces for the World's Largest Chili Pepper, up to Teako's Giants, through Socorro -- which sounds like a delight -- towards the Very Large Array, then back to Albuquerque. Considering probably a third of our trip was based on national parks & monuments, that's all fucked now. As much as we joked about getting shitfaced and just driving around in the dirt, it's looking more and more likely that's what we'll be doing.

So have y'all been to New Mexico? What are we missing? And don't say Carlsbad because that's fucked too. No bats and caves for us! New Mexico is basically just a whole pile of state parks. Goddamn half the places we were planning to camp are national monuments. Thanks, government!

Anyway, I'm taking suggestions. Frankly it doesn't matter, because this is probably what's going to happen:



I'm gonna need Knucklehead to stay by the phone.

[badcarburetor]

There's gotta be some place that you can rent and shoot machine guns. So, get on that.

[Diana]

Ima add that to the list.

[MS_39455]

I think you'll have a great time in spite of all of the cry babies on Capital Hill fucking up the works. Carlsbad, White Sands, and especially Chaco Canyon would be priority if they were open, but New Mexico has a pretty nice state park system as well. Pretty sure that the Three Rivers Petroglyph site near Tularosa in southern NM is still state run. You can walk right up to thousands of petroglyphs all over the mountain side and valley. All of Lincoln County, just north of there, is pretty interesting, too. Lots of old buildings still full of bullet holes from the likes of Pat Garrett and Billy The Kid. Smokey the Bear (the real bear) was found near there after a wild fire in the 50's. Real big presence there. The Valley of Fires recreation area outside of Carrizozo should also still be open. There are all sorts of bizarre igneous formations from a massive lava tube that was active maybe 1000 years ago. Watch for aircraft coming out of Holloman AFB down there too if you're looking for Roswell-esque night time weirdness. Got low level buzzed in our car by an F-117 in the middle of the night near there one time.

Tons to see up north, too. US 491 (which was still US Highway 666 when I was last there) is a pretty spectacular drive up through the Four Corners area. Ship Rock and the whole Zuni Pueblo area are pretty spectacular. Really can't go wrong anywhere in that state. Such a beautiful place.

A few photos if you're interested...


Three Rivers


Valley of Fires


Capitan Gap where poor ol' Smokey the Bear was found

[Diana]

I almost titled this post "Hey Tommy, Have Ever You Been To New Mexico?"

Indeed! I have Valley of Fires marked on the map, as well as Three Rivers Petroglyphs. Hell, I've got everything marked because he originally told me he had to take two weeks off, but now he can only take one. Luckily half our shit is closed, so it won't be a problem.

Billy the Kid is all up in that junk. Not one, but TWO competing gravesites! And I am definitely in the market for some Roswell-esque night time weirdness. That was basically the whole point of this trip, plus all the observatories, and I pray to the Dark Lord their financing holds out long enough for us to visit. We're not going to make it up to Four Corners because most of what I want is in the bottom half of the state. Also I'm a little afraid of Utah. But not as afraid as I am of Arkansas.

Also I'm a little worried about us getting Thunderdrunk and accidentally stumbling onto a reservation and causing problems. Any chance of that? I'm gonna triple check myself for Redskins merch before we leave.

I wish I had brought this up earlier so you could write all over my map. I promise I'll run my next vacation by you first.

[Metalfreak]

This thread really wants to make me go to New Mexico now! Well, if I get stationed in Cannon...

[GameFreac]

My suggestion is to get me beer I can't get in Georgia.

[Diana]

My suggestion is to get me beer I can't get in Georgia.

The hard part would be keeping the Marine from drinking it. That's a battle I won't win.

[GameFreac]

My suggestion is to get me beer I can't get in Georgia.

The hard part would be keeping the Marine from drinking it. That's a battle I won't win.

I tried.

[Thrashmania]

Off topic but not really, my Woman just came back from Trader Joes with some coffee that has "New Mexico" plastered in huge text and is apparently ground with some Indian nuts. It's delicious and you should drink some coffee while on the ancestral hunt of creepy native drawings and aleyums. Also, hunt scorpions and collect tumbleweeds.

[Moloc]

Off topic but not really, my Woman just came back from Trader Joes with some coffee that has "New Mexico" plastered in huge text and is apparently ground with some Indian nuts.

Poor Indians.

[Diana]

If I see a tumbleweed in real life, I might pass out from excitement. I'm gonna be a straight-up gaping mouthed tourist asshole: "Uh muh god y'all it's just like on the tay-vay!"

I will look for this New Mexico coffee! And I am definitely sleeping with my boots on because I ain't havin no scorpions and rattle snakes taking me out. Eff that mess.

Confirmed today by many downed websites, White Sands and the VLA are closed. I swear I have a vacation curse -- last year I tried to go to New York and Hurricane Sandy destroyed it. So this is probably all my fault. Sorry, everyone.

[Thrashmania]

I saw a few outside Gallup, that place smelled like pure sewage though. I look back at my voyage across country from California with more fondness these days than at the time. Ya know, angsty teenage asshole N all then.

This stuff:

[Diana]

Gallup sounds lovely. Were you following Route 66? I pretty much don't care about that, but the descriptions of Tucumcari being a complete shithole intrigue me. It seems that New Mexico is bookended by greatness.

Speaking of shitholes, my husband has been to Socorro and assures me it is a bleak, apocalyptic nightmare. He has requested current photos to see if it's as desolate as he remembers from 20 years ago. If it is, I might not come back. It sounds perfect.

So according to this map, to reach Gallup you had to pass through a Zuni reservation. How does that work? Is there a gate? "You can't come in here!" This whole reservation thing confuses me. "Sure, you can have your sovereign nation...but we're still totally gonna keep driving right through it. Sign here." And I think the Solar Observatory is on the Mescalero Apache reservation? Like I'm not worried we're going to get attacked or anything, it's just that there are very specific tribal laws about being respectful and bringing alcohol and I don't want to screw up.

[Knucklehead]

Anthony Bourdain's show last night was about New Mexico.

Evidently, the chile peppers are very good.